


Maybe Never, Maybe Forever

by Taedae



Series: Otayuri Week 2020 [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Forbidden Love, Hurt/Comfort, Infidelity, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, One Shot, OtaYuri Week 2020, Pining, Post-Canon, Secrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:27:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27192403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taedae/pseuds/Taedae
Summary: Out there, time was a heated knife carving every tick of the clock into his soul like an inmate tracking the days of incarceration. Because out there, he was trapped in his freedom.--Yuri seeks a freedom he can't have, a love he can't reveal, and maybes that might never exist.
Relationships: Otabek Altin/Yuri Plisetsky
Series: Otayuri Week 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1985047
Comments: 11
Kudos: 18
Collections: Otayuri Week 2020





	Maybe Never, Maybe Forever

**Author's Note:**

  * For [venom_for_free](https://archiveofourown.org/users/venom_for_free/gifts).



> **Beta Readers:** [Venom](https://archiveofourown.org/users/venom_for_free), [Kailyn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KailynMei), [Aurus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aurucite)
> 
> **_Otayuri week 2020, Day One: Distance/Reunion._**  
>  I gift this piece to Grue and Venom, as a 'thank you' for supporting and encouraging this angsty mess.

His own footsteps echoed off the tiled walls and half-open stall doors until he stilled midway in. The air buzzed with emptiness and neglect. One of the overhead lights flickered, threatening to blow out, and the steady _drip, drip, drip_ of a leaky faucet imitated the pulsing against his ribs.

It was perfect.

Yura drew a slow, deep breath, followed by another. He didn't count the seconds. He didn't need to. Time held no meaning the moment he crossed the threshold. That was how the game worked. That was the only way it worked. Time ruined everything. It wouldn't—couldn't—ruin this.

A rusty creek filled the room, twice. First, swiftly. The second time, so slow, a shiver crept down Yura's spine. His lips twitched and his breathing hastened, threatening to overthrow his carefully refined pattern. But he held firm, his back exposed, his gaze on the wall, even as sturdy, paced footfalls approached. Yura's fingers curled against his palms, his whole body tingled. Silence. Then, a hot breath on his neck.

He groaned, and a rumble of amusement danced in his ear.

“I missed you, kitten.”

Teeth grazed his skin, sending a jolt straight to his core, and Yura grinned. “Of course you did. You never could get enough of me.”

Pressure against his back forced Yura forward, against the questionably clean tiles. Pinned between hot and cold, flesh and stone, he laughed. This was it; _this_ was what kept him up at night, heated and aroused by the tantalizing visions. Occasional sexting and private videos through Snapchat weren't enough to sate his appetite. A mere sampling of the real thing couldn't compete with the entire meal, the succulent flavours committed to memory.

Willingly grappled and prone, Yura followed the guidance of his lover's hands and turned, pressing his back to the wall instead. Only then did he utter a breathless, “I missed you, too, Beka.”

The smile that bloomed across Otabek's lips made the months of separation worth every excruciating second. Seconds he'd counted because out there, time mattered. Out there, time was a heated knife carving every tick of the clock into his soul like an inmate tracking the days of incarceration. Because out there, he was trapped in his freedom.

“Stop it, Yura.”

“Beka—”

“Don't.”

“But I need to tell you—”

“No.” They held each other's gazes, their rapid breaths tangling between them. Otabek throat bobbed. “Not here. Not now.”

_Not ever._

Otabek's lips met his, and Yura melted. Languid, sweet. It was everything they wanted and everything they couldn't have. But they allowed this single moment of calm before the storm, to strengthen the bonds stringing their hearts together.

The spell broke the moment Otabek's tongue demanded entrance. Then searing lust flooded Yura's veins, setting him on fire. He clawed at his own clothes, but Otabek grabbed his wrists and pinned them over their heads.

“We don't have time for that.”

“Please, Beka.” His whole body burned and hot tears spilled down Yura's cheeks. He needed to be set loose, to fly, to be granted the freedom the outside world denied him. Denied _them_. “I need you.”

Otabek's expression softened, just for a moment, just for him. “I know, kitten. I know.” Lips on his neck, one of Otabek's hands kept his wrists restrained while the other worked Yura's pants open. “I've got you. I promise.”

_I've always got you._

Maybe one day, they would be able to shed their clothes properly and become one on silken sheets. Maybe one day, they could abandon the world and run away, living on nothing but a dream and their blind love. Maybe one day, they could wake in each other's arms as the sun tickled their cheeks or curl up in front of a fireplace, swathed in a blanket, their fingers wrapped around a steaming mug of hot chocolate or hit the road in the middle of a clear, starry night, the wind whipping their hair …

Dangerous fantasies Yura only allowed to spill into his mind when they were alone, stealing moments they couldn't afford to take but would shatter them if they didn't.

The dim, damp bathroom faded as Otabek's fingers spread him open. The 'no bottoming before a competition' rule was nothing more than a fleeting concept when their paths crossed. Gold still drove Yura, motivated him, but he didn't need more metal hanging on his walls. He needed this moment, this man who bore the name 'gold' on a foreign tongue. His gut clenched and flipped, his head spun. Yura gasped for breath and whispered his lover's name like a prayer, pleading for mercy from the only being he ever worshipped.

And Otabek, always a gracious God, obliged.

* * *

As Yura entered the rinkside, he reached into his pocket. Despite the cool sting of the band against his palm, the diamond ring nearly burned his finger as he slipped it back in place. It glittered in the overhead lights, and Yura's stomach curled, the wave of nausea almost powerful enough to drown out the lightning striking through him with every step.

When he rounded the corner, blinding flashes forced him to squint, but at least they served as an excuse for the scowl etched along his lips. Yura stepped through the pit of reporters, his ears ringing from their desperate cries for his attention. But he charged through, an arm raised, his elbow carving a path forward until he broke out on the other side and was immediately pulled into an embrace.

Yura dragged a smile out of the darkness and stitched it across his face as the arm around him tightened. The camera's seared his retinas, but he didn't flinch, hardly even blinked. A stone-cold statue, the perfect image of happiness. He angled his hand so his ring danced in the lights, feeding the sharks as they screamed their questions and congratulations. But the flashes and voices faded, silence falling over the whole world when Otabek stepped into view.

Reporters swarmed as Otabek approached the stands. He held out an arm, and a woman rose, accepting his offer and standing at his side. Her radiant smile as they spoke with the press curdled Yura's blood. His eyes lowered, his gaze catching on the glint of their matching wedding bands, but the placement of their hands couldn't hide the slowly rounding belly pressing against her shirt.

Their stolen moment was over. Time reigned once more, the heated blade making its mark on his soul all over again. But it was better this way. Together, the world disappeared and nothing mattered. Together, their responsibilities, their careers, everything they'd worked for would turn to ash, burned in the flames of their passion. At least this way, they could live for the people who needed them, the people who looked up to and depended on them.

Otabek lifted his head. Their eyes met. Yura's cold smile melted, revealing the warmth beneath the ice only he could drag to the surface. As Otabek's lips twitched, Yura curled against his fiancé’s chest, letting the cameras believe what they wanted, letting the world swallow the lies protecting their hearts.

Yes, it was better this way.

And Yura would count the seconds until their next stolen moment.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for much for reading! What do you think? Will the 'maybes' become a reality? Despite how many people will get burned in the process? Or do you think they will dream of 'maybe' forever and keep giving into their desires for one another behind closed doors? Please let me know your thoughts!
> 
> If you want ask me questions, chat about the newest stories/chapters, or even just want to have a place to connect with other people in the Yuri!!! On Ice fandom, you are more than welcome to join me on [Discord](https://discord.gg/mFvK4hW)! You can also reach me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/TaedaeNextrea) and [tumblr](https://taedae-nextrea.tumblr.com/).


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